Old Ladies Love Me

Okay - so I'm getting my hair cut today, and as I'm getting out of the chair I hear this lady (circa 70) say as loudly as she can to another lady (circa 80), "My goodness!  What a handsome young man!"  

Embarrassed, I give a sheepish grin.  That was a mistake.  It encouraged her.  

"Boy, you're a looker.  Isn't he a looker Blanch."  (I'm not making this up.  Her name was Blanch.)

"Oh yes!"  Blanch agrees, "You must have your pick of the ladies!"

"Not if my wife has anything to say about it" I retort, "And she does."

There are other men around and at this point I want to crawl into a hole.  I'm trying to pay and get out as fast as possible, but it's taking forever.

It continues.  

"My goodness I bet your wife has to beat em off with a stick!"

I guess that a smile or flirtatious comment from some young college girl would provide a little boost for the ego.  I suppose a prolonged look from some pretty service rep at the mall would be a novel thing.

But I wouldn't know, because that's never - ever - the case with me. With me it's old ladies.  It's always been old ladies. And so I guess I should just graciously join the ranks of my - um - contemporaries?...

 

Home Alone - sort of

I feel alone.  Heidi is out of town on business this week because whatever and it's just me and the kids.  Times like this make us painfully aware of all she does to make this place a home.  It's late and I'm tired, so I'll quit there or it's going to get really sappy really fast.  I promised her I'd post some pics of the kids, so here they are right now...

Lost

Lost was boring tonight and I called the "Aaron" thing like 20 minutes into it.

Wind Up Sushi

Last weekend the Bakers gave me this; It's a wind-up sushi toy.  Best gift ever! (goes without saying).  What a great feeling to have somebody walk up and hand you wind up sushi!  That's only topped by the feeling of having friends who see something quirky and bazaar and think of you.  

Over-thinking It

The blogging community is a new social arena for me.  And nothing stirs one's insecurities like a new social setting.  We have an amazing ability to attach meaning or intent where there is none.

Deep inside my insecurities are always overanalyzing things...

Another comment by so-and-so.  He's put comments on half my entries, which means he frequently checks in on my blog.  But am I on his "Blog Friends" list? No!  Sure, come by and read a little, drop your comment, and have a good time at my expense.  But where's the commitment?   Are you ashamed to let others know about our exchanges?

Then today I get a comment from an old friend.  I go to check out her blog, and it's exclusive. You have to be invited, and I'm not invited.  So what was that?  You can come hang in my cyberhood, but I'm not allowed in yours.  What - were you just slumming today?  Left your fancy gated cyber-community for a while and now I'm sitting at the gate being turned around by the guard because I'm not on your list?

Makes you wonder who else in looking at my blog; looking without posting anything.  They're like virtual voyeurs spying on me - violating my privacy.  How dare they not post anything; making their presence known.

But the worst thing of all is that snotty little tag that reads "0 comments" or in other words, "Nobody thought anything of what you wrote."  I poured my heart into that post!  It was inspired!  I felt the spirit move as my trembling hands danced across he keyboard weaving a tapestry of inspiration... and nobody liked it!  Am I stupid?  Was my inspired discourse really just an incoherent disquisition? What do I do?  Do I remove the post?  Why "0 comments"? Why!?

Maybe I'm not doing my part.  Have I taken the time to post on other people's blogs?  Maybe they feel shunned by me.  If I want to have blog buddies I need to be a blog buddy.  That's it!  I'll post like crazy on other people's blogs and before I know it my comment tabs will be overflowing!  I gotta go!

Disclaimer

Some of us - my friends - have been directed to post disclaimers on our blogs. Did you check out mine? It's pretty sweet!

The Look

This one makes me so proud.  I used that exact same look on his mom 18 years ago.  

Yup.  He's got the look down.  And one day I'll teach him how to use it.