Thursday, January 8, 2009

In the South...

Just got back from Nashville and I learned some things I never knew about the south.  In the south...

-You can say "Gaylord Opryland" and nobody snickers.

-The food is so good - I'm feeling really chubby right now.

-Everything you say to somebody seems to evoke a story about something that happened to their cousin.

-Doesn't matter where you are or what time it is.  You can "Have Church" at any given moment.  
-If you're speaking in front of a group of Church-folk, and you make a good point, a lady might put her hand up in the air.  Don't point to her and say "Question?"

-If you're alone at a restaurant and there's no immediate seating, don't opt to eat at the bar, even if you're only drinking tea.  A nice lady who attended your workshop just might call you out for being a minister of the gospel and not avoiding the appearance of evil "when everyone can see you saddling up to the bar and chatting away with the bartender"

-Women are proper, sweet, and gracious - until they start talking about sports... or catch you sitting at the bar.

-When you stay at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel, you can get a wake up call from Kelly Pickler.

-Kelly Pickler doesn't sound the least bit cute at 5:00 a.m. saying, "Get up now.  It's time to get out of bed.  Now GET UP!"

-Roy Acuff passed on a huge and impressive gun collection... whoever Roy Acuff was...


10 comments:

Kristi said...

well well well...look who is blogging again.

funny post.

welcome back.

Rick said...

Very funny. I loved the vignette about the lady who raised her hand. By the way, Roy Acuff is one of the reasons you and Kristi feel the way you do about country music. Welcome home. I'm sure Heidi is happier than anyone.

Billy said...

I told you. Never sit in a bar. You never know who is watching you.

The Rev said...

Yeah...So?

Heidi said...

I told you this blog post would get a comment from The Rev.

You owe me $5.

Kristi said...

What is the rev saying, "yeah..so" to? You sitting in a bar. Probably...cause he spends a LOT of time in bars if you know what I'm saying. He must me agreeing with you, like, "Yeah, so you sat in a bar...so?"

surely that is what he means.

Kristi said...

and btw... i FIRMLY believe, that Jesus would have been sitting up at the bar. Maybe not drinking. But talking to people, getting to know them, sharing his love. I think it is the Pharisees trying to avoid the appearance of evil who are afraid of the bar and the people that sit at it.

Would Zacheaus have ever changed his life if Jesus didn't go out of his way to talk to him? To show him that life could be different? Life could be better? You can't really have those conversations with people if you are scared to be around those people.

Sorry I totally got on my soap box... I just get really bothered by Christians who judge and make comments like that....

P.S. I'm not calling you a Pharisee Billy. I was referring to the lady at the bar...not your blog comment.

Kristi said...

dang it, now as i reread my comment underneath the one i wrote about "the rev", it looks like I'm totally bashing him too.

I'm not trying to. Again - it was only about the lady at the bar.

I'm going to stop typing now and get a drink.

At the bar.

Ok, I'm kidding.

Now, I'm really stopping.

Heidi said...

I'd like to arrange a boxing match between Kristi and the lady at the bar.

My money is on Kristi.

Rick said...

I think if we sold tickets to the boxin match we would no longer need the Next Wave